


Snow Day In Hell

by GoringWriting



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hijinks & Shenanigans, M/M, The Rogues (DCU) As Family, Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-05-08 12:09:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14693942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoringWriting/pseuds/GoringWriting
Summary: What happens when the Rogues and Team Flash are forced to share a cabin on vacation? Chaos.





	1. Chapter 1

“So, who's ready for a week of rest, relaxation, and fun in the snow?” Barry asks from where he's sitting in the back of the car that Joe is driving.

“You've asked that question several times Barry and every time we answer it's the same thing. Yes,” Cisco says from where he's dozing against the window.

“I know, but this is the first annual Team Flash vacation. I want to make sure that everyone enjoys it. I had to practically promise Ollie my first born child to get him to cover Central while we're gone,” Barry says.

“I still don't understand the logic behind all the heroes in a city going on vacation,” Harry says through the phone attached to the dashboard.

“Is there any chance we can switch drivers? He's been complaining since we've left,” Wally says.

“We're almost there Wally. Just a little longer,” Joe says.

“That's what you said an hour ago,” Eddie says.

“And if would have been true if the main road hadn't been closed,” Joe says.

“How much farther is it in miles?” Jesse calls through the phone.

“Roughly five minutes,” Caitlin says.

“Better plan for ten then,” Iris says giggling.

“Not this time,” Barry says as the pull up to the front office for the ski lodge they had booked. They get out of the cars and go inside.

“Hi, welcome to the Snowy Day Inn. I'm Pamela the owner. You must be the Star Labs party. It is a pleasure to finally meet you in person,” she says with a cheerful smile.

“The pleasure is all ours,” Barry says and a man of maybe 20 comes in with a tool box and whispers in her ear then leaves.

“That was my nephew Jamie. I'm so sorry but your cabins have frozen pipes and they've exploded. I can't allow you to stay in them and I don't have any other cabins empty. If you're okay with sharing with another party. There should be enough rooms for all of you,” Pamela says and Barry looks at the others.

“Is this okay with you guys?” Barry asks.

“Yeah. We'll have to be careful what with our identities and powers but I'm sure we can do it,” Cisco says and the others nod as well.

“That's fine with us. As long as it's okay with your other guests,” Barry says and Pamela picks up the office phone and dials a number.

“Hi, it's Pamela. I have a couple of guests here and nowhere to put them and I was wondering if... really?... you're sure? Thank you so much,” Pamela says and hangs up the phone.

“They said that they would be happy to let you stay with them. They are in cabin B12 just follow the road, it'll be the first cabin,” Pamela says handing them keys and they head back to their cars and park outside the cabin in question.

“What if these guys are serial killers? Iris asks.

“We have two cops, five superheros and two kickass civilians. We'll be fine,” Cisco says as they walk into the cabin they'll be staying in and hear footsteps coming towards them.

“Well, well Scarlet. Isn't this a surprise,” none other than Leonard Snart says.


	2. Chapter 2

Barry wastes no time pinning Snart to the wall. “What are you doing here Snart?”

“Well I was welcoming the guests that Pamela asked me to house. Now it seems like I'm not welcome in my own cabin,” Snart says as Lisa points her gun at Barry.

“Put that away Lisa. They're our cabin mates,” Snart says and Lisa puts the gun away and Barry lets Snart down. Lisa relaxes a little and blows a kiss at Cisco.

“What are the two of you doing here?” Barry asks backing away from the warmth of Snart's body.

“Vacation,” they say as Mick walks in with his own gun ready.

“What's the plan Boss?”

“Pamela wants us to live with them unfortunately. She needs the business to pay her mortgage,” Len says and Mick lowers his weapon.

“Snart, you can't honestly want us to live together?” Mick growls eyeing the heroes unhappily.

“Well what do you want to do Mick? We leave she loses our money. They leave she loses ours. You know she'll insist on refunding our money,” Snart says and Mick growls but relaxes.

“You're crazy if you think we're not going to arrest you,” Joe says.

“We outnumber you, we're not in your jurisdiction, and no one in this cabin has a record or warrants out on them,” Snart says.

“What are you talking about?” Joe hisses.

“The Flash destroyed all my files and warrants and I already had someone in the CCPD computer system. All he needed was the virus and he did the same for all the Rogues,” Snart says as Axel Walker and James Jesse walk into the room.

“Are they our new roomies?” Axel asks excitedly examining them.

“Yes.”

“They look boring. Oh well. I'll just have to have fun with Marky,” Axel says and James makes a face.

“Trust me Ax, there's more to them than meets the eye,” Snart says with a wink at Barry but they're distracted by a crash from the front door and turn to see Mark standing there glaring at Joe.

“What is he doing here?” He hisses.

“Now Marky. Remember your therapy. Clyde's alright, he's out with Hartley getting boring groceries,” Axel says.

“He shot my little brother!” Mark growls and Axel wraps his arms around Mark's so he can't lift them.

“You don't have to talk to him. You don't even have to like it but Pamela needs the money. You know she does and you also know that she can't afford a murder here,” Axel says and leans up to press kisses to Mark's face and he slowly melts and nods.

“Besides we won't be leaving the room enough to see him,” Axel says with a wink. James rolls his eyes.

“Anyone want to trade rooms with me? I'd rather not be next door to my son and his boyfriend. I don't need to know what they do,” James says and Axel giggles.

“I hate to interrupt this lovely family squabble but we should go,” Eddie says.

“You can't. Pamela needs the money. I know this is straight out of a movie but there's a real estate developer trying to buy her out. Of she can't pay the mortgage she'll lose this place,” Lisa says.

“Normally our visits are enough to pay everything she needs but she's lost a lot of business thanks to the larger Lodge a couple miles away from here,” Mick says.

“Why don't you just steal the money... I didn't just say that,” Eddie says.

“She won't take charity. She's a stubborn lady,” Roy says as he and Shawna come in.

“Who else is here?” Cisco asks.

“All the Rogues. Sam and Rosa are chopping wood and Hartley and Clyde are shopping. You'll know when they show up because you'll hear Hartley screaming from Clyde's motorcycle,” Axel says giggling.

“Great now I have to put up with Hartley too?” Cisco groans as Sam and Rosa take the wood to the kitchen.

“Come on I'll help you with your luggage,” Mick says and they head out to the cars and starts getting stuff down.

“What do you say Barry should we attack?” Wally asks.

“Listen. We just want to enjoy our vacation. A fight goes against that, plus it would damage the cabins and Pamela's business,” Mick says.

“You guys care a lot about Pamela. Why?” Wally asks.

“That's my personal business,” Mick says and his phone rings and he answers it.

“Hey Hart. Yeah the new roomies are here. Some of them you might know from Frankenstein's Lab...how can a place not have chocolate icing? Fine, get that funfetti stuff Axel loves to put on everything,” Mick says and hangs up.

“What was that all about?” Eddie asks.

“Axel's surprise birthday party is this week and Hartley is picking up the stuff for the cake,” Mick says and helps them carry their bags to their rooms. When they go back down to the living room they find Lisa and Shawna on the couch while Lisa does Rosa's hair and America's Next Top Model plays in the background.

“Well this is strangely normal,” Joe says as they sit down too.

“We're not criminals 24/7,” Shawna says pulling out a large book.

“Really Shawna? Schoolwork while on vacation?” Lisa says.

“Unless you want to write this paper for me, yes.”

“What are you studying?” Jesse asks helping hold hair so Lisa can braid.

“Anatomy. I want to be a nurse,” Shawna says underlining something.

“I didn't know that,” Caitlin says.

“You never asked,” Shawna says as Jesse introduces herself.

“So why are you getting dolled up?” Jesse asks.

“It's date night,” Rosa says and Sam comes in and takes a picture of Rosa.

“Sam, what are you doing?” Rosa says.

“Taking a picture of my beautiful girlfriend,” Sam says and Shawna and Lisa mime throwing up.

“Are there any good places for dates?” Wally asks.

“I bribed Axel to get Mark to freeze the local lake a little more so that it would be safe to skate on,” Sam says.

“I normally just bribe Clyde. He's much more easy going and usually will do it for free,” Lisa says.

“Except Clyde is off with Hartley getting food,” Sam says.

“Do you think Clyde would help me out?” Wally asks.

“Maybe, depends on when you catches him,” Lisa says.

“I'm going to explore,” Harry says walking off and Wally rolls his eyes.

“I guess introductions should be made,” Wally says but a scream interrupts him.

“That sounded like Hartley,” Sam says and they all run to the sound of the scream.


	3. Chapter 3

They burst into the kitchen and find Hartley cowering behind Clyde Mardon who is glaring at Harry.

“W...what are you doing here Harrison? You're supposed to be dead!” Hartley is yelling.

“You have me confused with someone else,” Harry says.

“As if I could ever mistake the man who ruined my life!” Hartley sneers from behind Clyde.

“Hartley that isn't the Dr. Wells you knew. He's from a different earth. We somehow managed to prove the multiverse theory!” Caitlin says.

“You expect me to believe that?” Hartley asks.

“Hartley it's the truth. He's from another Earth. He doesn't even know who you are,” Caitlin says and Clyde holds Hartley against his chest.

“Do you swear that that isn't Harrison Wells?” Hartley asks.

“On Ronnie’s grave,” Caitlin says voice hitching. The fight goes out of Hartley and he nods.

“Just keep him away from me,” he says putting away the groceries. Mick and Snart head over to the stove from where they were watching the entire exchange closely in case they were needed.

“Alright team, dinner time. You guys know the drill,” Snart says and Hartley and Axel grab some plates from a cabinet and put them on the dining room table.

“Oooh yay Micky is making BBQ Burgers,” Rosa says grinning.

“And veggie burgers for our vegetarians,” Mick says and Mark and Clyde high five.

“You guys are vegetarians?” Cisco asks.

“Growing up we couldn't afford meat so we grew up without it. When we started stealing and robbing banks we saw no reason to change that,” Clyde says with a shrug.

“I think we're focusing on the wrong thing. Snart and Rory know how to cook?” Caitlin says.

“Who do you think made sure Lisa was fed? You've met our old man,” Snart says.

“And who do you think made sure Mr. Peanut M&Ms should be a food group over there was fed?” Mick asks and Snart rolls his eyes as Shawna works on a salad.

“You guys have any dietary needs?” Mick asks.

“No,” Team Flash says.

“Good, accidental poisoning someone is not what I need in my life,” Mick says.

“Don't eat those Roy. They have peanuts in them,” Mark says and Roy drops the bag of candy he was trying to open.

“How come you never told us you were allergic to peanuts?” Cisco demands.

“I couldn't take the chance that you would use the information to kill me,” Roy says.

“We would never have done that,” Caitlin says.

“Well, I had been locked up without a trial or lawyer, almost blown up, and almost sent to an island that no one would know where I was. So excuse me if trusting you was not on the top of my list of things I was ready to do,” Roy says.

“We never thought of it like that,” Caitlin says.

“Whatever. It's not like anyone would care,” Roy says and leaves the room and Team Flash stands there quietly.


	4. Chapter 4

Eventually Team Flash sits down to dinner with the Rogues. It's a little awkward because Hartley and Mark insist on sitting as far away from Harry and Joe as possible but eventually they all fall into an easy silence.

“Miss West and Detective West, I want to apologize on behalf of my brother for what he did to you when he thought I was dead. Mark can be a tad bit over protective of me. You have my word that he will be on his best behavior. He wouldn't dare hurt my favorite journalist,” Clyde says.

“Trust me, over protective sibling is something Iris has first hand experience with and not on the receiving end,” Wally says.

“You too? Isn't it annoying when they think that just because they're older they know better than you?” Clyde says and Wally nods.

“Okay, first of all, I know better than you because I raised you. Second of all, which one of us has been shot?” Mark says throwing a piece of lettuce at Clyde.

“But did I die? No,” Clyde says shooting his brother a fond smile.

“Thank Goodness for that. Because if you had died I would have killed you,” Mark says.

“Your ring is gorgeous,” Rosa says and Iris smiles and holds it up.

“If anyone steals it let me know and I'll kick their ass,” Shawna says winking at Iris then going back to her text book.

“Shawna no doing homework at the dinner table,” Mick says.

“Thanks Shawna,” Iris says.

“When are you going to give me a ring Sammy?” Rosa asks smacking his chest playfully and misses Axel pulling out a camera.

“Well now that you mention it,” Sam says getting down on one knee and Rosa grabs the table to steady herself.

“YES!!!” Rosa shrieks not giving him a chance to get anywords out. She lunges at him and kisses him and he puts the ring on her finger.

“Was that planned or…” Wally asks.

“Well he was supposed to do it on their date but the Rogues are nothing of not dramatic,” Snart says with a shrug.

“I'm going to be Mr. Dillion,” Sam says smiling at Rosa.

“You're going to take her name?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah. I'm not particularly attached to my last name but she is,” Sam says.

“Iris can I take your name?” Eddie asks and Iris nods.

“Sure think Eddie West,” Iris says making him blush.

Dinner continues on nice and relaxed. A lot of the tension has vanished and the conversation is intermingling between groups.

“I'm just saying, if you could distract her dad on date night that would be amazing,” Wally says to Axel.

“Ah, yeah, my dad was a little overbearing at first,” Axel says understandingly.

“A little? Ax he rigged my bed to explode,” Mark says.

“Well he wanted us to wait for the third date,” Axel says.

“Assuming I survived to the third date,” Mark says.

“Hey Barry, you said your last name was Allen. Any relationship to Henry Allen?” Clyde asks.

“He's my Dad,” Barry says.

“Oops, sorry for kidnapping him,” Axel and James say.

“Doc is a good man. I'm glad his name was finally cleared. He talked about you all the time,” Clyde says and all the Rogues that knew him nod in agreement.

“You guys believed he was innocent?” Barry asks.

“Criminals have a sixth sense for these things. Sort of like sons do,” Clyde says.

“I don't know. I probably wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen the murder,” Barry admits.

“Wait, you saw the murder and they still arrested your old man?” Lisa asks.

“Well no one believed that I saw a man in yellow lightning. After a while I was afraid they were going to lock me up in an asylum so I stopped for a while and worked to prove his innocence,” Barry admits and James and Axel nod.

“Those are no fun for kids and foster care is luck of the draw,” Axel says.

“Did you see someone for the trauma of watching your mom die?” Snart asks and Barry notices that Lisa and Mick have moved closer to him and he wonders why.

“They kept telling me what I saw and that I couldn't have seen what I saw, and that holding onto the delusion was going to hurt the people that cared about me,” Barry says.

“Gaslighting can be a bitch,” Mick says and Barry nods.

“Okay, on to happier topics before we all wallow in depression. We get to have Pamela's world famous pancakes tomorrow,” Axel says and they all cling to the change of topic.

“Amen for that. Those things could promote world peace,” Shawna says.

“Better not let her catch you with your nose buried in that book Shawna or she'll make you make the maple syrup by hand,” Mick says shivering.

“Have you had to do that before?” Wally asks.

“Oh yeah. More times than I can count, but she's probably got a tally somewhere,” Mick says.

“Probably next to our wedding photos,” Snart says.

“Wedding?” Iris asks.

“Oh right, we been married five years now. Ever since it was made legal over in Gotham,” Mick says.

“Why would she have your wedding photos?” Barry asks.

“Noneyuh,” Mick says.

“What?”

“None ya business,” Mick says and they decide to drop it.

“So now what?” Wally asks as Sam and Rosa leave for date night.

“Movies?” Lisa says turning on Star Wars.

“You guys like Star Wars?” Cisco asks.

“It's one of the few things we can safely watch with all our assorted traumas and triggers,” Axel says and climbs onto the couch leaving everyone else to juggle seats positions and somehow Iris ends up sitting with Shawna and Lisa while Hartley is stuck next to Cisco and Barry.

With all the emotions, traveling and stress they've gone through it's no surprise that none of them make it past the twenty minute mark. When Rosa and Sam come back in they cover everyone with blankets and join the big slumber party as well.

After taking plenty of pictures, of course. They never know when they'll need to get one of the Rogues to do something for them.


	5. Chapter 5

When the Rogues and Team Flash wake up for breakfast they pretend that nothing happened. Although whenever their eyes meet some of them will blush.

They make their way through the snow and to Pamela's house. She smiles and waves them in and they sit around the table and Mick immediately starts helping her fix breakfast. Which just adds fuel to the theories about their relationship.

“So Ms. Pamela, Mick told us that he and his friends come here every year,” Wally says.

“Yes, he and Lenny have been coming since they were young and Lisa's been coming since Lenny turned 18,” Pamela says and Mick shoots them a warning look.

“How do you know them?” Cisco asks.

“I was Mick's foster mom, after the fire that took his family,” Pamela says.

“Really? What was Mick like as a kid?” Iris asks.

“Fiercely protective of me. One time these young troublemakers tried to egg my car and Mickey here scared them away,” she says pinching Mick's cheeks affectionately. Mick's face immediately turns red.

“Then when Lenny took me away from our old man when he was eighteen, she became my foster mom too. So I know all the embarrassing stories for both him and Lenny,” Lisa says.

“Lisa, I married the most dramatic thief in Central. I don't embarrass easily,” Mick says rolling his eyes.

“Oh? So you don't mind if I tell the chicken story?” Pamela asks sweetly and the color drains from Mick's face.

“What's the chicken story?” Wally asks.

“Well, Mickey and I used to live on a farm. Before he came to live with me he had experience with goats, cows, horses, and pigs but not chickens. So, one day I send him to get eggs and next thing I know he's being chased around the farm by all my chickens. Eventually he climbed up a tree and refused to come down till I put them all back. So, he stayed up there till noon and I never got him to go near the chickens again,” she says and Mick blushes deeply.

“You never told me that one Mickey,” Snart says and Mick grumbles and helps Pamela put plate after plate out for them. Before sitting down at the table.

“I hope you're okay with sharing a cabin,” Pamela says.

“It's not terrible. Besides, you couldn't have known that the pipes would freeze,” Mick says.

“It's the oddest thing. The pipes weren't simply frozen over. They were encased in ice,” Pamela says and the Rogues share a look.

“I'll make a couple calls after breakfast. See if I can find something out,” Mick says passing the maple syrup to Snart.

“So, it was foul play?” Joe asks.

“I can't imagine anyone who would do anything like that,” Pamela says.

“I can. Silas Crane. Land developer, it's always those types,” Hartley says.

“But how would he have frozen my pipes?”

“That's what I am going to try and find out, because I know that two out of three people capable of that kind of freezing are at this table,” Mick says and they all dig in.


	6. Chapter 6

Once they've finished eating Mick pulls out his phone and dials a number as quick as he can.

“Hey Zsasz it's Mick...yeah from Central. I know I know, I'm sorry for not calling on your birthday. Listen, my mom's ski cabin's pipes were frozen in blocks of ice. Do you have Fries number?”

“Thanks man. Yeah Lenny and I'll come back for a visit,” Mick says and hangs up and dials another number.

“Hey Ozzy. Zsasz says you have Fries number. Yeah, thanks man. How are you and Eddy doing? Good, good. Thanks Ozzy,” Mick says and dials another number.

“Hey Fries. Yeah it's Mick. No Len and I haven't broken up! Anyway, did you freeze some pipes in a ski cabin recently? Yeah that cabin belonged to my mom. I know you didn't know and I'm not mad. I just want to know why? You were hired? By who? Okay thanks,” Mick says and hands up.

“Poser,” Snart mutters as Mick dials yet another number.

“Tabby, hey. Look I just need one answer, who hired you to get in contact with Fries?” Mick says and his eyes widen a little but doesn't show any other reaction.

“Are you sure? Okay thanks,” Mick says and hangs up.

“Well?” Len asks.

“Hartley was right. Silas Crane hired Tabby to hire Fries to freeze the pipes,” Mick says and the Rogues growl.

“Well that's good to know,” Pamela says.

“Fries is on his way up to fix it,” Mick says.

“That's nice of him,” Pamela says.

“Nice nothing. He loves riling me up by flirting with Micky,” Snart says.

“Hey, I only have eyes for you Lenny...and anyone you like,” Mick says kissing Snart.

“Go enjoy the snow,” Pamela says with a smile and they run out to have some fun.


	7. Chapter 7

“Oh my god it is offensively cold out there,” Wally says as they get back inside shaking snow from his hair. Barry is close behind also shaking snow out of his hair. Jesse too is shivering a little more than the others.

“Oh come on it wasn’t that bad,” Mark says.

“We’re spe...um more susceptible to the cold,” Wally says.

“Sooo, we’re just going to pretend that we don’t all know that you’re Baby Flash,” Axel says.

“Kid Flash,” Wally grouses.

“You knew?” Joe asks standing in front of his son protectively.

“Duh, it must be the worst kept secret in Central City,” Axel says as Barry goes to his back to pull out a protein bar only to find that he forgot to pack them. 

“Everything okay Barry?”

“Yeah, I just forgot some of my protein supplement bars,” Barry says.

“Oh, you’re a meta too?” Axel says.

“What? How?”

“Mark told me about those nasty bars you guys made him have to eat to keep his calorie levels right. So, I put two and two together,” Axel says with a shrug before throwing a tupperware dish at him.

“Here, these should keep you going for a while. Though I never put them to the test on a speedster’s metabolism,” Axel says.

“I’m not a speed…”

“Please don’t insult my intelligence,” Axel says as Barry opens the container and pulls out the brownies inside.

“You made these?” Barry asks.

“Yeah. Mark, Clyde, Roy, Shawna, Sam, and Rosa all need more calories than a regular person. So I made these to help them get the proper amount,” Axel says and Barry eats one and the moan he lets out is practically orgasmic. But since all the metas had done the same when they had eaten one for the first time they’re prepared for it.

“You like them Scarlet?” Len asks and Barry nods. He opens his mouth to say something but there’s a honk from outside that has Len immediately groaning.

“Great the wannabe me is here,” Len says as they all head outside to see who had just arrived.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi @hotforcaptaincold on Tumblr


End file.
